Tag: healthandwellness

When I moved to Toronto in my early twenties, I only knew a handful of people. 

Fresh off a life-changing year traveling through Africa and coaching skiing in Whistler — where every day was filled with connection, adventure, and playing with strangers who felt like instant friends — I arrived back home and realized that real life felt… quiet. I had a job. I had an apartment. But I didn’t have a community of people. 

And honestly, I didn’t know where to start.  

I searched for a fun soccer league in hopes of meeting new friends, but the only leagues I could find were competitive women’s leagues and quite literally “out of my league”. 

What happened next was the beginning of something big. I had heard about adult social sports leagues in Chicago and San Francisco, so I decided I should try to start something similar in Toronto. 

I started JAM (formerly Toronto Sport & Social Club) because I believed there had to be more people like me — people who were new to a city, or maybe just stuck in a routine, and wanted to meet new faces, have fun, and feel a sense of belonging. I didn’t want anyone to feel like they had to wait for a friend to invite them out or be an elite athlete to keep playing. I wanted them to have a reason to show up — and to walk away feeling like they were part of something.  

Within months of starting the leagues, I felt I had an incredible community of friends, and I was witnessing others forming friendships and special relationships on the sidelines as well. 

All these years later, that’s still the heartbeat of JAM: connection through play.  

One of the things I’ve loved most about my work is watching teammates start as strangers and slowly — although sometimes it is almost instantly — become each other’s people. I’ve seen high-fives turn into Friday night dinners with groups of new friends. I’ve seen post-game chats become inside jokes. And I’ve seen many relationships blossom into marriages and full families – whose kids (now young adults themselves) are playing with JAM generations after their parents first met playing in our leagues. 

I shared a few of these stories in my book It Pays to PLAY. There was a couple who met playing softball, went on to get married and had many of their teammates in their wedding party. And another pair who met on the ultimate field and now have a couple of daughters both of whom love to play frisbee with their folks. And there’s the woman who moved to a new city, was incredibly lonely with no connections and she shared with us that “the leagues saved my life”, because she made lifelong friends by showing up to that first game. 

Stories like these still give me chills – this is my favourite part about the work we do at JAM.

But you don’t need to fall in love to find love in this kind of space. The love can be in the laughter. In the shared playlist before the game. In the person who remembers your name and asks how your week went. In the teammate who hypes you up after a not-so-great play. In the post-game patio conversations that start light and end deep. That’s what makes playing together magical.  

I still fondly recall a heart-to-heart conversation with one of my ultimate teammates after a game.  It was the late ‘90s and we had just finished playing, and we were driving to meet the rest of our team for some nachos and beer. He shared with me in the car that he was coming out, and he was debating whether to share this with the rest of our team.  I assured him that everyone on our team loved him unconditionally and had no judgment around his sexual orientation. Witnessing him open up to the rest of our team later that evening was so powerful. He felt comfortable doing so because of the bonds of friendship that had developed on the field of play. 

At the end of the day, play is just the vehicle — it’s the connection that’s the real prize.  

And let’s be real: it’s easy to stay stuck in our routines. To hang out with the same people, go to the same places, keep things simple. But I think we all have moments where we crave something more — a new energy, a new challenge, a new circle.  

That’s why I keep coming back to this message: Say yes to play. Even when it’s awkward. Even when you’re not “good” at the sport. Even when you must show up alone.  

That yes might change your entire experience of a city. It might introduce you to someone who becomes your go-to person. It might give you the confidence to try something new, to take a chance, to put yourself out there again.  

I’ve seen it happen — thousands of times.  

And I am not writing this to try to “sell” anyone on joining a league; I write this from my firsthand experience. Because I know what a difference it can make when you start to feel like you belong somewhere. It just so happens that sometimes that feeling can start by lacing up your shoes and showing up! 

So whether you’ve lived in your city for twenty years or twenty minutes, whether you’re outgoing or introverted, competitive or just-in-it-for-the-t-shirt… you’re invited. Come play. Come connect. Come find your people.  

You never know where one season, one team, one Tuesday night volleyball game might take you.  

Come solo. Come with a friend. Come exactly as you are. We’ll meet you at the field. No pressure – just play!